Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A Note on Free Enterprise

I have mentioned this casually in passing but there is one thing that has been driving me crazy! I understand everyone needs to make a buck. Times are tough and there are people out there who are doing all they can to make some extra cash. But I am getting pretty sick of the guys who keep trying to sell me tamales in the parking lot of the grocery store.

Yesterday I had to stop by the store for some veggies for my stir fry and I was asked on the way into the store and on the way out BY THE SAME GUY if I wanted to buy tamales. No Sir, I don't. I didn't walk into Smith's and then think, "Man I hope that guy asks me on the way out because that is when I will REALLY want some tamales." If you are going to try selling things in the parking lot, here's a tip: try selling only to people on the way IN or on the way OUT. Because the more you ask me, the more I am going to say no simply because you are annoying the holy living shit out of me.

Also, there is something to be said for your presentation. I get that you probably can't afford to set up a little stand like the lady that sell's Navajo Tacos, but maybe you should rethink the big plastic bin that is in the back of your rusty black Bronco. And maybe, you shouldn't try handing them out in nasty looking Ziplock bags that appear to have human bio-waste in them rather than a delicious Mexican treat.

And don't look at me like I am the jerk when I say no. Would you buy food from me in a parking lot? HELL NO! My own mother wouldn't do that. I don't know you from Adam. For all I know, you are making those tamales in the same kitchen you make drugs with your hands that you didn't wash after you took a GIANT poop. (Yes, I am mentioning GIANT poop on my blog. But are you honestly surprised?)

And finally, what if you have put some sort of addictive substance in your tamales so that I keep coming back for more? What if I say yes, eat your tamales, and then start going through withdrawls when I can't find you to get more. I don't want to spend my nights wandering west-side grocery stores looking for the "tamale people." I will do nothing but try to buy more and more tamales. And then Ryan will leave me and take Gabe with him. And then my family will have to take me onto the A&E show Intervention because I have a tamale problem. NO THANKS! Your tamales are not worth the risk.

So please tamale people, just leave me be. I get what you are trying to do, but I will NEVER buy your tamales. I can get safe one from the frozen section inside Smith's rather than "Mystery Tamales" from the back of your car.

And now, for those of you who only come to my blog to see pictures of Gabe...I present you with the Daily Gabe. He is playing with his play mat and he just found the mirror. Even he can't believe how cute he is.

And just in case you need one more shot of Gabe cuteness tonight, I give you this.

On a funny side note about Gabe, we tried giving him squash last night and he vomitted all over the dinner table. Not only did he not like the squash, he let us know in one of the most disgusting ways possible. So Ryan and I have both decided to hold of on trying the squash again-for our own safety. Love to you all!

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