Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Happy Birthday to Him

Happy One Month Birthday my Little Gabe-zilla! I cannot believe you are already one month old. You have graced me with your presence for an entire month now and you have grown so much. You are taller now and your head...well, I'll be honest. I think you have gained all your weight in your head. To me, it seems GIANT!

You are starting to smile a little. Mostly it happens when you finish eating and are relaxed. I am going to pretend that it is because you love me and for more than a constant source of food. I also think you smile a little after you fart but I hear that is pretty common for babies. But I will take what I can get.

You are also starting to have more awake time which is great except for when you decide that awake time should be at 3 a.m. I love that you are looking around a lot more. That you are taking in all that you can and learning a little more each day.

You still have your redish-blonde hair and I love that. I worry about you going bald and having all your precious baby hair fall out. I love that your eyes are turning a little more blue. Your Dad keeps making jokes about you becoming a "Ginger" but I couldn't care less. You are the most gorgeous baby boy I have ever seen and if you have red hair, so be it. It will only compliment your blue eyes.

My only wish is that you would stop growing. I don't want you to get any bigger. I want you to stay my precious little baby FOREVER. And I say that, but I also am excited to see what you will do next. I want to know so badly what you will become. What you will be interested in. What you will do. What you will say. So really, keep growing my ten-pound meatloaf...keep growing so that your Dad can turn you into his little minion.

I hope you know just how much your Dad, Sera, and I love you. We are so happy that you have been here for a month and we look forward to watching you grow and learn. Happy one month birthday my precious baby boy! Mama loves you more than you could ever know.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

4 weeks old and loving it!

Where am I? What? This is my blog…? Oh right. My blog. That’s right, I used to blog about my life and all the changes that I was experiencing. Well that was before I had a ten-pound human attached to me at multiple times during the day.

Gabe is doing great, thank you for asking. He is growing so much and I love seeing how much he is changing. He looks around more and has figured out put his hand in his mouth. He also learned how to ride a motorcycle last week and yesterday he preformed open-heart surgery. He is really advanced for his age. The only problem, people frown on their heart surgeons crapping their pants.

There are so many wonderful things about being a new mom. I love the way he looks at me when he has been crying and I “save” him. I love the smell of his little baby skin after I give him a bath. And how soft his hair and skin is. I love the little squeaks and noises he makes. And when he is crying when someone else holds him and then I get him and he stops and looks at me with his big innocent eyes.

There are things that aren’t so fun though…like when he poops two minutes after I have just changed him. When he throws up curdled milk on my shirt. When he launches a large stream of pee on my pants. Or the fact that my breast pump takes forever to get things going. (The Oreck vacuum company needs to make breast pumps. Those bad boys can hold up a bowling ball-certainly they could speed things along for me.) Those are all things I could do without. But then again, if I didn’t experience those things, could I really call myself a mom?

Being a mom of a brand new baby boy has CHANGED MY LIFE! It has changed me to the core. I always heard those stories of how much you can instantly love someone and I never really understood that until 4 weeks ago. The moment I saw Gabe, (even though I was heavily dosed with IV morphine) I loved him. Yes he was all purplish with goo on him and yes he was screaming, but I love him with all my heart.

And four weeks later I am not sure what I am doing half the time, but I wouldn’t change a thing. There are days where I don’t get out of my pajamas and I am okay with that. Most days I don’t put my contacts in and just sit around with my glasses on. And yes, there are days where all I do in the shower is wash my hair and armpits and call it good. And even with all that, I am still happier now than I have ever been.

And with Sera back in Utah, (hopefully for good!) and Ryan coming home tonight, life is even better. My family can finally be complete again. It is whole and the way that is should be. And Gabe will get to know his Dad and big sister and share in their love for him. (He sees me all the time seeing as I am his portable source of food and therefore knows me well.)

I will say this for my little Gabezilla, he sure knows how to cry when wants to. The other night he woke up around midnight for his late night meal and decided not to go back to sleep…until 3 am. I was getting so tired and by the end of it I was referring to him as “That 10 pound crying meatloaf” which Ryan found amusing and slightly disturbing. I love him but that kid is developing a nasty habit of wanting to watch bad late night infomercials. Of course, that is partially my fault because I was doing all this talking about how good he was when he was so little and now that he is getting bigger, his sleeping habits are changing. I jinxed myself, damn it!

I look forward to seeing him grow and learn more and more. He is already learning how to get his fist to his mouth, which is great. And I love watching Sera learn more about Gabe and how she can help him. She actually wants to change his diapers and I am more than happy to let her help me. She’s getting pretty good at it too except for earlier today when I let her do it and she didn’t get the diaper on quite tight enough and Gabe ended up with pee all down his back. But hey, babies wash so it is no big deal.

I will try to be better about updating and not letting it go so long between blogs. Thanks for everyone’s love and support. ALL OUR LOVE!