So many changes...

In the last couple weeks I have realized one very important thing: life can change in an instant…literally.

On August 1st my step-daughter Sera boarded a plane and returned to Arizona. And in less than 10 seconds, my life went from being a full time parent to not. She wasn’t here anymore. No more nightly bedtime stories. No more having dinner as a family. No more bath time or play time or any time. She is not here.

It was an intense feeling watching her turn her back on her father and I and head towards the security gate. I honestly couldn’t stand there and watch. For almost 2 and half months, my world was centered on taking care of her and being her mom and the moment she walked away, my time was over. It literally brought me to tears. I felt like, no I knew, that a piece of my heart was going back to Arizona and someone else was going to be in charge of taking care of her. In one moment, my life went from step-mom and care-giver to nothing more than a loving voice on a phone. I won’t get to hug her or kiss her goodnight. Now all I can do is try to talk to her on the phone, which is hard because we always seem to call when she is watching TV or playing with a friend or a cousin or getting ready to go and do something. Sera doesn’t often like talking on the phone-she is too high-energy for that. All Ryan and I can do is try to call her often but not so much that she gets annoyed with our calls and let her know just how much we love her and miss her.

I also witnessed my cousin Nicole experience something that changed her life almost instantly. Last Sunday on August 10th, my Aunt Kathy (Nicole’s Mom) was out ridging her horse and she fell and broke her neck. Let me first say that she is doing okay considering she is in the ICU. She can move her arms and legs which is lucky considering what she broke. She is still in ICU and is waiting to have a halo put on. After that, my guess is she will be in the hospital for a few days and then hopefully get to go home.

She doesn’t need surgery and she isn't paralyzed which is great. Yes, she in a lot of pain and she’s still worried that something could go wrong. But we are all grateful that she isn’t going to end up in a wheelchair or even worse, dead. For the last almost 48 hours, my family has rallied around my Aunt Kathy, her husband, and my cousin to give our love and support.

But again, this whole situation makes me realizes how quickly everything can change. My cousin Nicole went from planning a family camping trip one minute to trying to get to the University Hospital as quickly as she could to see her mother. My aunt went from just a normal ride on her horse one second to a broken neck the next. No matter what anyone says, life literally can go from one extreme to the next in a matter a mere seconds. What I have to keep reminding myself is that no matter what happens, life will go on. No matter what changes, weather it be good, bad, or indifferent, life will undoubtedly go on. And we, and by we I mean myself, can’t stop living because of fear or sadness. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “This too shall pass.” and it always does.

I want to thank everyone for the love and support that Ryan and I received while Sera was here and also when she had to go. My parents especially, deserve my thanks for all the things that they did for Sera, Ryan, and I this summer. They are wonderful parents and grandparents. I also want to thank my in-laws, Scott and Linda for the love and support they gave us as well. I know that Sera loved spending her week in Montana and Ryan and I enjoyed spending time with Linda and Ry’s brother Todd when they came to Utah. So thanks again to everyone and I hope that your summers have all been as good as mine.

Whoops!

Okay okay! So a few of you have mentioned that I haven’t updated in a while…and you are all right! Whoops! Sorry about that. Pretty much after Byron got home from his mission, things have been crazy. (Granted I could have made that time but ya know, I would rather hang out with my family.)

So yes, it is true! Byron got home from his mission and is doing great! He wasn’t really weird when he got back which surprised me. And he wasn’t as skinny as I would have guessed. But, when he came off the plane, he was wearing this Panama style hat which reminded me of Humphrey Bogart or some sort of Cuban drug lord-he is such a dork! He is now dating Becca Lesher, the same young lady he was with before he left for his mission, and is planning on going to Utah State in the fall.

I love having my little brother home! It had been two years since the family had all been together and lots of things have changed. But the moment we saw him, it was like nothing had really changed. He is still the Byron I remember, just tanner and reads his scriptures a lot more! I love him so much and I am glad that he made it home safely.

Since I last updated, my grandparents Jim and Diane, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. It was really fun for all of us to get together and talk about how great our grandparents are. I had some really fond memories of them both considering I was privileged enough to live with them for two years.

My grandparents are a great example of how to make it work, even after 50 years. Things have not always been easy. In fact, there were times I would guess it was more like hell than paradise. But they have stuck through it and never gave up on each other. I am so happy for them and love them both so much! And I hope that they know how much of an amazing example they are to the rest of us. And considering so many of the grandkids are now getting married and trying to keep their own relationships strong, to have such an incredible example right in front of us, makes it that much easier. So congrats to them both! I love you guys!

Sera has also been here this summer which has honestly, taken up the majority of my time. It is amazing how much happiness she brings. Ry and I have been trying so hard to plan fun things and make sure that she has a good summer. Sadly, however, she will be going back to Arizona on Friday. I think about all the fun things we have done and it makes me a little sad to know that it is all going to be over on Friday. She is such a wonderful little girl and I consider myself lucky to have her in my life.

This past weekend was especially busy with activities starting with spending some much needed time with my cousin Nicole and her three boys. We went to her house for some hamburgers and play time. The kids spent most of the time playing games on the trampoline and swimming in the inflatable pool. It was nice just to let them play which has been able to happen much this summer.

Then Sera spent the first half of Thursday up at This Is the Place Monument with my family doing fun Pioneer activities and playing games. Ry and I didn’t go because it was supposed to be a morning only event and we decided to sleep in. So Sera went with my mom, dad, brother, and sister along with my sister’s husband and his family. According to everyone that was there, it was a great time. Now I kind of wished we would have gotten our lazy butts out of bed!

That evening the whole group, including Ryan and I, went up Millcreek canyon and had a barbeque. It was such a nice evening and we had the best spot for a campsite. We ate and relaxed and simply had a great evening. The kids played more games, had fun with hula-hoops, roasted marshmallows, and just enjoyed the outdoors. We also managed to get back into town with enough time to see some fireworks at Liberty Park. It was a long day!

Saturday Ry and I took Sera swimming to a local pool that has this great kid’s area. We had so much fun! I love swimming with Sera because she takes her swimming seriously. She loves racing and jumping from her Dad to me. She also loves to play pretend. For example, she and I were mermaids and the yellow elastic that had been in her hair was a magic ring and the brown elastic that had been in my hair was a bracelet of power. And Ryan? Well naturally he was the evil Shark Wizard that was trying to capture us and steal our magic jewelry. It was all very fast paced and mostly it was just Ryan swimming after us while we passed our miraculous trinkets back and forth. But even though it wore me out, it was still so much fun!

And Sunday Ryan and I, for some strange reason, thought it would be a great idea to take Sera to the Children’s museum. This is the first time we have gone this summer and once we are there, the screaming and whiney kids are a good reminder of why we don’t go to the museum more often. Sera, on-the-other-hand, loves that place almost more than she loves Christmas!

I don’t know how many of you are able to visit the museum, but it is packed with things for kids to do. From fake cranes, a playhouse, a grocery store, a farm, to art and crafts, and special exhibits, I don’t know how a kid could ever get bored! And I have to admit, I even find myself making sail boats out of muffin cups and playing in the water. It is a good time, once you get past all the “back ground noise.”

I am sad that it was out last weekend with Sera and I hope she has had a good summer. There have been some down times, like when she was super sick and barfing all over the place. Or when my mom and I had to remove the toenail from her big toe that she had stubbed. But I am pretty sure that she had a good time and I know for a fact, that Ryan and I did. We will miss her so much and look forward to spending the Christmas holiday with her!

As far as what's new with Ryan and I, things are still on hold. We haven't made any final decisions on the whole active duty airforce situation. We both still feel like it is really the direction we are supposed to head. Now all we have to worry about, is timing and switching career feilds and filling out papers and re-training and who knows what else! But honestly, I look at all these things that other people might think of as "a lot to deal with" and I don't feel any kind of anxiety at all. I truly feel like this is what he and I are supposed to be doing. And what is really weird about our decision to possibly become a military family, is that we both came to this conclusion sepperately. One day he approached me about going active duty and I told him that it was really weird he bring it up because I had thought about it too. I would have never just suggested it to Ryan because it is his life and joining the military full-time is a big thing. I would NEVER want to pressure him into something like that. But after he said something about it, it was like a light switched on for us. So hopefully, things will work out and everything will go smoothly. I doubt we will really move forward with those plans until after the end of August but I will keep everyone updated.

Sorry again to have taken so long in between posts. I promise to try and be better! All my love to all of you!

I like to hop hop hop...

Yes, this Sera. Yes, she is wearing a kangaroo costume. And no, I have no idea what is she is doing. But dang it, I thought it was so cute that I am posting it on here for everyone to enjoy! (Thanks to my sister Becca for the video.)

Just some chalk art right?

Ever since Sera has been home Ryan and I have tried to do things that are fun that don’t involve the television. We are not perfect (Yes I know this comes as a shock to most of you!) And so occasionally we let her watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. But in our defense, it is usually in the early morning hours where we are better off sleeping than trying to entertain her. Our idea of entertainment for her at 6:30 on Saturday mornings is “Okay Sera lay still in the dark and try to count the spots on the ceiling.” So I would say Sponge Bob is better for everyone involved.

This past weekend, however, the three of us along with my sister Becca and her hubby Spencer attended the 6th Annual Utah Foster Care Foundation Chalk Art Festival. I thought it would be this cute and pretty rinky-dink little gathering with kids drawing giant sunshines and out-lining each other. Oh how wrong I was! This thing was ridiculous! The artists were absolutely AMAZING! I don’t think Sera was nearly as impressed with the very large masterpieces that people were drawing, on the cement, WITH CHALK! But Ryan, Becca, Spencer, and I could only stare in awe. They blow that crappy flower I drew on my driveway at home completely out of the water!

My guess is there were almost 70 works of art there. There were all sorts of artists ranging from people drawing Disney or comic book characters to others literally redoing famous works of art. Some of the ones I wanted to get pictures of were just too crowded with other people so I couldn’t get a great shot. But I’ll post some of the other great works that I was able to sneak in a quick picture of.

We loved being out in the sunshine together while getting to look at all the great art! We really enjoyed ourselves and appreciate the opportunity to help with such a great cause. The Utah Foster Care Foundation really does a great job! I’ll post the link which talks about the festival and gives you last year’s winners. Check back in a week or so and maybe they will have this year’s winners posted. Hope you enjoy the pictures as much as we did! http://www.utahfostercare.org/chalkartfestival.html

This is one of the artists working on a Disney's Lilo and Stitch piece.

Here is a reproduction of a famous VanGogh painting.

This one was done by about 6 or 7 young teens & it was AMAZING!

One year older and wiser too...

One year older and wiser too…

Traditionally the next line in that song would be “Happy Birthday, to you!” but I choose to use it in celebration of Ryan’s and my first year anniversary. That’s right all you non-believers, we made it an entire year! (Okay so there weren’t many non-believers to my knowledge but I like to be dramatic. BIG SHOCK!) I didn’t go crazy or become an Emo in the almost seven months that Ryan was in Iraq nor have I gone insane from watching countless episodes of anime or cheesy Troma movies. (Any of you that know Troma, know my pain!) And Ryan is still a very manly man despite all the chick flicks, reality TV, and the many days of PMS where I was more she-devil than wife.

We both had many people tell us that the first year is always the hardest. And you would think with the being apart for the majority of it, the moving of his daughter, my surgery, and some of the other things that have happened we might be ready to punch each other in the kidneys. However, I think that compared to what I have seen some people go through, we had it easy. And if this was supposed to be the hardest, then I am really excited for the easy parts.

And Ryan, how can I even express how I feel about him? I love him so much it makes my heart feel weak. He still gives me butterflies when I see him. He still sends me flowers (yes even when he was in Iraq, he sent me roses!) all the time. He took such good care of me after I had my surgery. Even while suffering the loss of Grandmother Ryan found a way to be in Montana with his family and the right back here taking care of me. He called me nearly every day while he was in Iraq which wasn’t always easy or convenient for him but he did it because he never wanted me to have unnecessary stress. And above all, he puts up with me! I know I am opinionated and stubborn and Ryan just smiles, tells me to calm down, and works with me to find a solution. He rarely gets so upset with me that I can see the frustration. Most of the time, he just lets it all go and keeps on loving me, knowing that I will get over it.

Ryan has been my rock for a long time now and I cannot imagine any other man treating me as good as he does. He is romantic and thoughtful even though he doesn’t think he does enough. He is loyal and trustworthy. He puts up with me getting jealous when he talks about the 40-year-old women at his work who I picture looking more like 20-something Playboy bunnies than 40-something soccer moms. And more than anything else, Ryan’s love is truly unconditional. Who could really dream of anything more?

So our relationship is now one year older and I think we both are wiser too. We still love each other even through the “bad” times. We don’t go to bed angry. We always try to help each other out and remember to say thank you. And we tell each other we love each other every day. (And we mean it!)

Dear Sera

Dear Sera:

Oh Sera-Bear! I love having you home with your father and me, finally. I forget how much you make me laugh. I always seem to get so involved with your father when you are in Arizona that by the time we get to see you again, my love for you explodes like a soda can in a freezer. I suddenly remember how funny you are and how much you love, well, everyone.

You have only been with us for about 4 days and already I can feel a change in the whole house. People are nicer because we always want to be setting the best example for you. Everyone seems to laugh and smile more. (Everyone also seems to be a little more tired at the end of the day.) I have also heard so many knock-knock jokes that my head might implode. The one you laughed over for a good ten minutes last night:

-Knock knock?
-Who’s there?
-Joe.
-Joe who?
-Joe blue. I’m a slew.

I am guessing that it was your impeccable rhyming skills or simply the silliness of that joke that amused you so. I laughed, not because your joke was really that funny in the “Comedy Central” way, but because you were laughing. I love how you find humor in the simple things.

You are also very helpful. Even though sometimes we have to ask you eight times before you’ll even acknowledge your father or I are standing there, you always do it eventually. You are even dressing yourself in the mornings as long as I set your clothes out for you the night before-your father isn’t even that good. (Joking Ryan!)

I hope that you are enjoying your time with us. I don’t take offense that every night you want your Dad to read you your bedtime story because I get to do so many other things for you. I am just grateful that when that story is over and we have said our bedtime prayer, you always give me a hug and kiss and tell me you love me. I could have never imagined just how wonderful that makes me feel.

You are a brilliant and talented little girl and I see more and more of your Dad in you all the time. I hope you know how lucky you are to have such an amazing father who gave you such amazing genetics. And this summer, I hope that I am able to help you grow and become an even better person.

So someday, when you read this note from me, I hope you smile knowing how much I love spending this precious and all-too-brief time with you. Even when you ask awkward questions like, “When are you and Daddy going to have a little sister for me?” it makes me happy. And having you around, makes me want to have more kids, so you never know…you may get the answer to that question sooner than we all think.

Your Dad and I love you so much Sera! And this summer is going to bring us all so much happiness and fun.

Love always,
Your Other Mom a.k.a Rach

Strut Your What?

Last Saturday on May 31st, Ryan, Sera, and I took Barney to Sugarhouse Park for the 13th annual Strut Your Mutt. Strut Your Mutt is a walk for charity where all the proceeds go to the No More Homeless Pets Foundation. It is a great cause and I was so excited that we were able to participate.

We had to be at the park at freaking 8 am to get registered. I was not so happy about that but it was okay. Once we got there and got checked in, we had a few minutes to kill so we wandered around and look at all the different dogs. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have been surprised if there had been over 2000 people there with their dogs. Barney, who has a tendency to be a chicken, seemed to be pretty good with all the other dogs. I was worried he would spend the entire walk trying to escape from all the other dogs.

The walk itself was great. Sugarhouse Park is the perfect place to hold such an event. The walk itself is mile and a half and it took us about 45 minutes to complete. Sera wanted to stop and pet the other dogs. Barney had to keep stopping to take a drink or to try and scratch off the orange bandana that we tied around his neck. (He had to wear it! It was his Strut Your Mutt uniform!)

After we finished the walk there were a bunch of booths set up you could walk around and look at. Most of them involved doggy daycare or grooming services. There was a cute little booth for a place called Pupcakes. (I cannot find their contact info anywhere or else I would put it up.) It is this bakery that makes all sorts of adorable dog treats! They look so good. We bought some carob-covered dog bones for Barney and my sister and my cousin both almost ate one, thinking they were cookies. There were also these cute little cupcake that Sera wanted to eat as well but they were bacon-cheddar flavored so…we didn’t go there.

I think that everyone had a great time and it was a really fun way to start off our summer with Sera. Everyone was really tired by the time we left, even Barney. He fell asleep as soon as we got in the car! I am glad that the three of us we able to support such a great cause and I look forward to participating again next year!