Tuesday, August 12, 2008

So many changes...

In the last couple weeks I have realized one very important thing: life can change in an instant…literally.

On August 1st my step-daughter Sera boarded a plane and returned to Arizona. And in less than 10 seconds, my life went from being a full time parent to not. She wasn’t here anymore. No more nightly bedtime stories. No more having dinner as a family. No more bath time or play time or any time. She is not here.

It was an intense feeling watching her turn her back on her father and I and head towards the security gate. I honestly couldn’t stand there and watch. For almost 2 and half months, my world was centered on taking care of her and being her mom and the moment she walked away, my time was over. It literally brought me to tears. I felt like, no I knew, that a piece of my heart was going back to Arizona and someone else was going to be in charge of taking care of her. In one moment, my life went from step-mom and care-giver to nothing more than a loving voice on a phone. I won’t get to hug her or kiss her goodnight. Now all I can do is try to talk to her on the phone, which is hard because we always seem to call when she is watching TV or playing with a friend or a cousin or getting ready to go and do something. Sera doesn’t often like talking on the phone-she is too high-energy for that. All Ryan and I can do is try to call her often but not so much that she gets annoyed with our calls and let her know just how much we love her and miss her.

I also witnessed my cousin Nicole experience something that changed her life almost instantly. Last Sunday on August 10th, my Aunt Kathy (Nicole’s Mom) was out ridging her horse and she fell and broke her neck. Let me first say that she is doing okay considering she is in the ICU. She can move her arms and legs which is lucky considering what she broke. She is still in ICU and is waiting to have a halo put on. After that, my guess is she will be in the hospital for a few days and then hopefully get to go home.

She doesn’t need surgery and she isn't paralyzed which is great. Yes, she in a lot of pain and she’s still worried that something could go wrong. But we are all grateful that she isn’t going to end up in a wheelchair or even worse, dead. For the last almost 48 hours, my family has rallied around my Aunt Kathy, her husband, and my cousin to give our love and support.

But again, this whole situation makes me realizes how quickly everything can change. My cousin Nicole went from planning a family camping trip one minute to trying to get to the University Hospital as quickly as she could to see her mother. My aunt went from just a normal ride on her horse one second to a broken neck the next. No matter what anyone says, life literally can go from one extreme to the next in a matter a mere seconds. What I have to keep reminding myself is that no matter what happens, life will go on. No matter what changes, weather it be good, bad, or indifferent, life will undoubtedly go on. And we, and by we I mean myself, can’t stop living because of fear or sadness. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “This too shall pass.” and it always does.

I want to thank everyone for the love and support that Ryan and I received while Sera was here and also when she had to go. My parents especially, deserve my thanks for all the things that they did for Sera, Ryan, and I this summer. They are wonderful parents and grandparents. I also want to thank my in-laws, Scott and Linda for the love and support they gave us as well. I know that Sera loved spending her week in Montana and Ryan and I enjoyed spending time with Linda and Ry’s brother Todd when they came to Utah. So thanks again to everyone and I hope that your summers have all been as good as mine.

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