Monday, May 11, 2009

So Much...

I haven’t been blogging for the last couple months. Period. Life has been crazy and I have had many other things to do. I am however going to take a moment now to update.

Yes, Ryan is gone. I drove to Mississippi with him April 1st to April 5th and then with many tears and much sadness, left him there. Saying goodbye is never easy. But saying goodbye for six months to the father of your unborn child is much harder than I expected. I cried my whole flight from Gulfport Mississippi to Denver Colorado. I was sitting on the very last row with my hood up on my black jacket, sunglasses on, quietly sniffling and wiping away my tears. People probably thought I was a terrorist. I am sure the flight attendant with nervous about asking me if I wanted anything to drink because who knows what chain of events he might set off. Instead, I ordered water with extra napkins. He kindly brought me extra tissues instead.

Since that day, things have been okay. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss Ryan. He is my better half and it sucks not having him here. But I survive and so does he and we both know that what he is doing is important for the future of our family.

Right around my birthday, Ryan was very sweet and got me a new dog. Her name is Freya and we got her from the Utah Humane Society. We aren’t 100% sure what kind of dog she is. She must have some beagle in her and who knows what else. We have heard everything from Collie to Pit Bull to Jack Russell terrier. All I know is that I love her. She is a great dog. Well…she is a great dog with the exception that she is Houdini Dog. And when she escapes from her kennel, she makes a mess. A VERY BIG MESS! HUGE!

At first Ryan and I had her in a smaller wire kennel. Her escape from this was partly our fault. She was too big for this kennel and simply pushed on the back of it and popped the side open. From there she got into the garbage and used our hallway as a restroom. I think she also ate a pair of my socks.

So we upgraded. We bought a larger enclosed plastic kennel. She did fine in this kennel for almost 3 months. That is, she did until a couple weeks ago. I get home from a long day of work to be greeted at the door by my little escapee. I am also greeted my a massive mess including with little was left in my garbage can since I had taken it out the day before as well as a box of cereal that she had gotten out of my cupboard.

Upon inspection I discovered that she escaped by chewing a hole in the side of her kennel. No, I am not kidding. When I left for work, there was no hole. When I came home there was a hole, a dog on the loose, and very large mess. Don’t believe me? I have a picture. In one day, this dog chewed a hole in her kennel!

So now I am mad…mad at myself for being out-smarted by my dog. So I go to Petsmart and buy another wire kennel, but this one is much bigger. While there I tell a couple members of the Petsmart staff what my dog has done and they are amazed. Amazed by my escape-artist dog. I would go so far as to say they were impressed by her breakout skills.

But I can’t just leave it at the wire kennel now. She has already proven that she can pop the side open with these so I enlist the help on my Dad who uses nylon zip-ties to secure the kennel. Now I am sure she can’t get out.

What happened next is all my fault. I underestimated my dog. I should have known. The new kennel made it one day with no jail breaks. By day two, she had formulated a plan. At some point during the day, my dog got the bottom lock on the kennel door open and was able to then push the door open enough to squeeze through the bottom. And the reward for my mistake? The biggest mess she had yet to create. Not only did she crap on my floor, shred every bit of garbage she could get her teeth on, empty the bottom to shelves of my bookcase onto the floor, and tear open a box of potato flakes and bag of flour, but she also destroyed the plastic blinds in my kitchen and chewed 2 of the slats of my wood blinds in my living room. She wasn’t just upset she was in the kennel, she must have been furious and I paid the price for my ignorance and over-confidence. I once again was out-smarted by a 25 pound dog!

So now she is back in the kennel and I am having to padlock the door shut. It has held up for three days but I am no longer going to be arrogant about it. She has gotten the best of me three times now and I am not going to let that happen again. Hopefully this one will hold, but I am not going to hold my breath. My dog should be in a circus freak show. This is why she ended up at the Humane Society…she got the best of her last owners. But not me! I am determined to win this war!

Other than all of that, things are going just fine. The baby seems to be doing well and developing great. I am now about 23 weeks pregnant. And I am feeling all 23 weeks now. My first trimester was so easy that my second has been much harder. My OBGYN says this should be my “honeymoon period” but I am not feeling it. I didn’t have a hellish first trimester so all the changes I am experiencing now seem much worse than they may have for other women.

I have hip pain, bloating, fatigue, heartburn, and hunger. LOTS OF HUNGER! I can eat a meal and 60 minutes later, I am feeling hungry again. It is nuts! And my pants….I am wearing pants that have a stretchy panel in the front to accommodate my ever-growing belly. I feel like a damn Chia pet! All I can do the water myself and watch me grow. My weight gain has been perfectly normal but still, I feel like I have gained 20 pounds in this last month instead of only 4.

But I am happy with my development. Things are normal and I could not be any more grateful. I know life with my new baby will not always be this easy or normal but I can only count my blessing and continue to pray that things continue in this direction for the rest of my pregnancy.

Thanks to everyone who has kept in touch. I am always thankful for your love and support. I will keep you updated and hopefully my next blog won’t take so long that it’s title will be “IT’S A BOY!”

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