Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Top Ten Again! (& Gabe Too)

Time for my favorite segment where I get to complain about things! YAY! That’s right my 10 (Hells yes double digits!) followers, I am talking about a new Top 10! And if you would like to pretend, each one of you can claim one of these Top 10 Items as your own. Sort of like I am dedicating them to you but I won’t…because I am lazy.

Top 10 Things I HATE About Living in MY Townhome Community

1. The Drive-In Swap Meet: I do not want to hear about all the bargains you can find at a swap meet. (Ryan I am talking to you here!) Mostly it is full of old N64 games, knock-off purses, and bongs…I mean, decorative vases. And as much as I love myself a nice decorative vase, I don’t love the line of cars the swap meet draws EVERY EFFING SUNDAY! Sunday is my time to drive to the store because I forgot bacon the night before, not to wait for you as you wait in line to go buy yourself a crappy pair of sunglasses.
2. The Garbage Can Situation: First off, let me start by saying I am glad we have a pickup and not some random dumpster somewhere on the property. However, when the 2 cans we drag out in front of our unit get blown over, sending our garbage along with the lid to our can rolling down the road, I don’t love it so much. And if by some miracle the cans don’t get knocked over, the garbage man usually tosses the lid back on my lawn finding the small patch of mud near the wall or random pile of dog poop left there by the yellow lab that roams around. Thanks for that Garbage Man! Also, the people on our street that drag there cans to the grass across from our driveway and leave them there for 2 days-I’m going to paint curse words on the cans next time as a friendly reminder to pick up your crap!
3. Dog Poop: Speaking of crap, the people who let their yellow lab crap on my lawn or the community grass. I pick up after my dog. My neighbors pick up after their dogs. Why are you special? Your dog leaves GIANT poops and I don’t want my kid landing in them. Clean it up before I make you wear it.
4. My Neighbors Kids on the Stairs: We share a wall with a family that has 2 young boys. And those boys must have freakishly strong legs because them noise they make tramping up and down those stairs sounds like a pack of wild buffalo. I am going to talk to them about “Indoor Feet” and how if they don’t stop, they will be hobbled.
5. The Guy Who Creeps Me Out: Jason, I am talking about you here! Just kidding. But seriously, there is a guy who whenever I go outside either downstairs or on my deck, he is peeping out his window or peeking over the fence on his deck. For example, we were out grilling on Saturday and Ryan can hear something over on the guy’s deck. The fences we have on the deck are pretty tall, maybe 7 feet so Ryan stands up on a chair and sees the guy looking over his fence at us. I KNOW RYAN WAS BEING CREEPY TOO! Please don’t point that out because I already know, but it freaked him out when Creepy Guy was already standing there looking at him.
6. The Stairs: Our townhomes have 3 levels so there are 2 big sets of stairs and then a little set of baby stairs. Yes I have fallen down them because I am not very graceful but that is not why. It is because when I have too many shots with my friends, those things are impossible to climb! I usually have to lie in the hallway on the second floor until the world stops spinning before I can keep going.
7. That Red Car Across the Street: My carport is being torn up because they are going to re-pour my driveway. No problem except there is a red car that has not moved in a year taking up one of the only extra spots we have. And if you think I am joking about it being there for a year I’m not!
8. 2:00 AM Fire Trucks: Our complex is across the street from a fire department and I am grateful because I know someday Ryan is going to blow up something. But when there is a fire or accident at 2:00 AM on a weeknight, it is not so fun. They try to be as quiet as possible and wait to turn on the sirens until they are down the street but it still wakes me up.
9. The Fact That My Mailbox Is At the Other End of the Complex: Need I say more?
10. Location! Location! Location!: I don’t mind that I technically live in west Valley. It really doesn’t bother me and I feel safe in my little complex. (Minus the Creepy Guy) But it bothers me when people hear where I live and assume that I must be A) Getting Shot At Constantly or B) Have Seen or Been Involved in Some Sort of Criminal Activity. It’s West Valley People! Time to wake up and smell the urban development.

All this being said, I do love where I live because I am close to the freeway, I don’t have to do yard work, and I have the world’s best neighbors, so it isn’t that bad. Much love to you all!

P.S. And once again, for those of you who only check this blog to see my cute boy, I present you with this. Gabe drank that entire cup of lemonade by himself! He is getting so big.

1 comment:

Jenny Bitterman said...

Us fellow townhome-ers have to stick together! At least 7 of yours are in my top ten too. But at least your neighbors are nice. We know the name of only one of our neighbors. And there are 18 townhomes in our complex. People are weird here in NY. Rude and weird.