Saturday, November 28, 2009

Bored Family+Crafty Mormons=TERROR

All people fear something. (Except for Chuck Norris maybe.) And some people fear irrational things. I once saw this episode of Maury where he was forcing people to deal with their irrational fears. There was this lady that was afraid of pickles and they brought out a GIANT barrel of pickles and boy did she run. I always wondered if that lady was just putting on a show or if she was really afraid of small delicious wrinkled cucumbers. The world may never know.

I have my own irrational fears. I hate dolls...mostly creepy porcelain dolls or ventriloquist dummies. I am also afraid of spiders because I think they are all out to lay babies in my ear or eat my face. I also am afraid of nuclear war fallout. But also...clowns. I HATE CLOWNS!

You never know who is behind the mask and/or face paint. And they laugh and you can fit 20 into a Volkswagon! COME ON! That ain't natural. It is superhuman...scary super human. Right now there could be 20 giggling facepainted freaks hiding in your car...tell me that thought won't keep you up tonight.

Honestly, my mom (God bless her.) watched this movie on the SciFy channel when I was little called "Attack of the Killer Clowns" which from what I can remember involved clowns from space wrapping people in cotton candy cocoons and then sucking their blood through straws. She also watched "It" which involved a killer clown. How could I not be scared of them right? (On a side note: for years I also made sure the lid to the toilet seat was always down and the bathroom door shut tight because I thought the "It Monster" was going to sneak out of our commode and kill me. Thanks for all those fun memories Mom!)

So Ry and I go on a date tonight and what do I come home to? Someone has left me a surprise. A terrifying surprise. And who would do such a thing? Why my sister and parents of course. I don't need to say much from here on out. The pictures will do my talking. I just want to thank my family. Thank them for making me the next canidate for some talk show. MOVE OVER CRAZY PICKLE LADY!

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