Allow me to depart from my usual topic of blogging, pregnancy, to discuss another important aspect of me life-my job. I work for a brilliant doctor who was kind enough to give me my start in medicine. I love what I do and where I work. I am a receptionist most days but also do some work for the clinic as a certified nursing assistant. (CNA)
My job is very fulfilling and makes me feel like I am making some small difference in this world. I enjoy medicine and all the good that I can see it do for people. And I love the people I work with-they are friends along with co-workers.
My job has brought me insight into a whole new dimension of people however. And so now, without any further gilding of the lily, I give you my:
Top Ten Things That Drive Me Crazy about Working at a Doctor’s Office
1. Patient’s who assume I am a medical genius: Allow me to explain…please, I beg of you, DO NOT assume that the person answering the phone at your doctor’s office is a doctor. I understand you want to know what to do about your rectal bleeding, BUT I AM NOT THE ONE TO ASK! So don’t get upset when I stop you halfway through your explanation of your anal warts to tell you that I’ll transfer you to a nurse that can help you.
2. Doctor’s Office Does NOT = Babysitter: If you are a parent and cannot find a sitter for your kids, please don’t ask me to watch them while you have your rectal exam. I realize that you don’t want to emotionally scar your kids by allowing them to see a man inserting his finger in your rear, but perhaps you should have thought of that BEFORE YOU BROUGHT THEM TO YOUR PROCTOLOGIST APPOINTMENT!
3. Getting Mad About Your Lack of Pain Meds: Again I am going to remind you that I am not the person who denied you your refill of Lortab. I don’t know why it isn’t being refilled but please, don’t yell at me like I just kicked your puppy and then ran it over repeatedly with my car. Yelling at me won’t help…I promise.
4. Complaining About Magazine Choices: I know you want the latest issue of “Fish & Game Magazine” ready for you when you arrive, but that isn’t going to happen. Sit down, read “Better Homes & Gardens” and be happy about it or I’ll replace all the magazines with college level physics books…WITH NO PICTURES!
5. Talking On Your Cell Phone In the Waiting Room: Most people who come to a doctor’s office are sick and would like a little peace and quite. So when you are practically screaming your conversation because the person on the other end of the call can’t hear you, it’s REALLY annoying. No one wants to hear what you did last night, or where you are going after your appointment, or about the cute thing your kid did this morning. Take it outside or turn it off!
6. Complaining That There Are Sick People In the Waiting Room: Really? Sick people? AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE?!?! The nerve…Come on folks. I know you don’t want to have to sit next to someone who likes like they might barf, but where would suggest they sit to wait for their turn? In the parking lot? Or maybe in the janitorial closet? Give me a break! Complaining won’t get you back any faster, but it might help the sick guy out.
7. No Spanish Por Favor: It is not my obligation to learn Spanish. Period. The End. If you need medical care and you cannot communicate in English, please find an office that speaks Spanish or bring someone with you who can translate. Being upset with the office staff because we can’t understand you won’t help you feel better.
8. Patients Who Argue with the Doctor: If you go to see the doctor, don’t argue with his diagnosis or treatment plan. We assume you are here because you can’t fix yourself. If you had all the answers, you probably wouldn’t have been here in the first place.
9. Screaming Kids in the Waiting Room: I know kids get rowdy and hyper. But if that is the case, take them out in the hall. Our benches are not here to act as playground equipment. And if they are bored and screaming, maybe you should have brought something for them to do, rather than yell at them for being loud and rambunctious.
10. Patients Who Get Mad at Me When They Miss Their Appointment: Last time I checked you are a 40-year-old adult and should be responsible for yourself. If you missed your appointment, IT’S YOUR FAULT! As an office, we TRY to give reminder calls as a courtesy. But you are old enough to keep track of your own schedule. If your car needs a tune up do you wait for the mechanic to call and remind you? NO!!! So be a grown-up, I know for many people it’s hard, and write your damn appointments down!
This list is only a short list of annoying things from my job. And if you ever do this, I might smack you (And then kick your puppy and run it over repeatedly with my car!) And besides, do you really want the people who schedule your appointments being pissed off at you? (I’m sorry Mr. Smith but we can’t get you in to get your hemorrhoids looked at for another 6 weeks. We are just too busy.) Let this be your warning!