Hakuna Matata

I was lucky enough to spend my weekend with my step-daughter Sera. She is always so much fun to hang out with and she is always full of funny stories. My sister practically begged me (on her knees) to post this little gem of a story so I will.

Saturday morning Becca came to pick up Sera and I to go do a little shopping for the baby. Turns out, you need to have the binkies and bottles BEFORE the baby arrives-who knew? Anyway, we head to Babies’R’Us (Or as I like to call it “Mecca”) and as we walk into the front door, there is the corner, glistening in all it’s 50 cent glory, is a Pumba ride. You know Pumba, the pig...err…I mean, warthog from The Lion King.

Well Sera runs over to it and gently caresses its piggy head and says “Look at this fun ride! And it is only 50 cents.” Becca and I try to pretend we didn’t hear her comment and ask her if we should use a blue cart or a purple cart. She repeats her statement about the ride a couple more times until we acknowledge her. She looks at us disheartened when we simply said, “Cool. Come on Sera-let’s go look at bottles.”

As we walk through the store she keeps bringing up that darn ride. I know that I don’t have any quarters in my purse so I try to distract her. Becca, on the other hands has some change and bargains with her. The deal? If Sera is good the rest of the time we are in the store, she can ride the Pumba ride.

So we quickly finish and Sera races out to the entrance area and hops on Pumba. She is kicking her feet and holding tight to the handles. Her smile expresses nothing but pure joy and anticipation. Becca inserts the two quarters and we both watch as the ride starts.

It is slow. Very slow. The pig must have had knee replacements recently or is suffering from a groin pull because he isn’t going fast. We watch as the huge smile slips from Sera’s face. She now looks confused. I can almost read her mind from the look on her face. “I behaved for THIS?” She doesn’t misbehave as it is, but she was extra good in the store and now, for the fruits of her labor, all she gets is a 60 second ride on a warthog that moves like an obese arthritic person.

Her feet have quit swinging and now hang lifelessly at the sides. She isn’t even holding on anymore. She folded her arms and is resting her head on top of Pumba’s head. She gives us a very unenthusiastic “Yee haw.” Becca and I are trying as best we can to contain our laughter but it is really hard.

I ask her if she wants to get down and she heaves a sigh and says “No. That’s okay.” Once the ride is over, she slides off and turns around to stare at Pumba. She frowns a little but then turns and walks out with us. We ask her if the ride was fun and she hesitates but then says “Yes.”

Maybe you had to be there to see her face. But any of you that know Sera, can picture the face she was making. It was so funny! She always makes me laugh and I am so glad that she is back in Utah. Her absence has left a HUGE hole in Ryan’s and my life for the last 2 years and would cannot begin to express how glad we are that she is back home.

And also, on a side note, I am officially just over 37 weeks pregnant and now considered a “full term” pregnancy. If I were to go into labor now, I could go straight to the hospital and they wouldn’t stop the baby from coming. YAY! Except that, we do not want to induce until September 4th. So everyone, keep praying for that date and I will let you know as things unfold. Love to everyone!

37 weeks and counting...

I am almost there. Mongo Peanut and I are now at 37 weeks. And it is weird to me to think about how fast time has really gone. I thought I would be miserable and that time would move at a glacial pace but instead it has gone by quite quickly. And now, we are hoping to induce labor 2 weeks from today. It makes me excited and TERRIFIED at the same time. Sure I can play it cool but that thought that sooner (MUCH SOONER) than I am probably ready for, I will be a full time mother of an infant-a tiny human who is 100% dependant on me. That’s a lot a pressure. My dog will get into the garbage or eat a sock if she gets hungry and I am not around. Hell, she’ll drink from the toilet even if her dish has water. She can survive!

But I am all this new little person will have. This kid might be in big trouble. I wish I could say I was confident that I won’t screw this poor kid up but let’s be honest…if it comes out NOT spewing sarcasm or the word “Damn” we will all be surprised. It probably has a very warped view of the world just from hearing me rant about the right-winged ass hats in Washington and will also already have a strong opinion on both recycling as well as using organic products when available. SEE RYAN! This is what you get for going to Mississippi…your conservative opinions have not been heard! Your child will come out of the womb flashing a peace sign. HAHAHAHA!

It is also weird to think about my baby being 37 weeks old in womb. When it is 37 weeks old out of the womb, which is what, 8 and ½ months? CRAZY! Peanut is 37 weeks now and still dependant on my body for life. At 37 weeks on the outside, Peanut will be eating food and could possibly be crawling! (Another educational fact: 50% of babies crawl at 7 months.)

As for my doctor’s appointment this week, not much has changed. I thought I would get more news than I did, honestly. I left a little discouraged. The closer I get to having this baby, the more I realize I NEED RYAN THERE! I know that I can make it without him, but I don’t want to. I want the father of my baby there to hold my hand and our baby in Peanut’s first few moments of life. I desperately need Ryan to be there. And after my appointment on Tuesday, I was hoping my OBGYN would give me more hope that we can induce on September 4th. But he didn’t promise me anything and just told me not to worry about what my cervix is doing and to focus on resting and staying healthy. Easier said than done for this Mama.

So as much as I wish I could update everyone with some new and exciting news, I can’t. And I never thought I would have to say this EVER in my life but, let’s all pray my cervix is doing something by my appointment this next Tuesday. Time is getting closer and I need this to happen. I’ve already had a chat with Peanut about getting ready to go, but I am not sure “he” is listening.

Thanks to everyone for asking and being concerned about the baby and I. I assure you that we are both doing well and I promise to keep you update on any new developments. Love to you all!

An Update...On Mongo

The Baby is HUGE! There is no other appropriate way to start this blog. Did you hear that Internet? HUGE BABY! So huge, Ryan has nick-named the baby Mongo. I warned Ryan that if he keeps up the name calling, our giant baby is coming to come out of uterus and kick his ass.

Last week during my OBGYN visit, my doctor noted that my fundal height (A measure of the size of the uterus used to assess fetal growth and development. It is measured from the top of the uterus to the top of the pubic bone in centimeters. MY BLOG IS EDUCATIONAL NOW!) was larger than it should be. This measurement, including a gain of 5 pounds, encouraged him to order a fetal stress test, test for the amount of amniotic fluid, and another ultra sound to determine my estimated fetal weight.

I was nervous about these tests because my high fundal height could mean many things. I could have been retaining amniotic fluid which would have resulted in me having to have amniocentesis, which is where they stick a BIG needle in my abdomen to drain out some of the fluid. Too much fluid can drown the baby. And the other option was that my due date was miscalculated and I am farther along then we thought. Or…I have produced a large child. It is normal for women who have gestational diabetes to have big babies, but I tested negative for that.

So last Friday I had the testing done. Stress test was normal…GREAT! Amniotic fluid test was normal…FABULOUS! Ultrasound….this is where we hit the speed bump.

Allow me quickly to educate you further. Below is chart to show you estimated fetal weights per week. Please look down at week 35 and notice the weight is pounds/ounces.


8 weeks 0.63 inch 0.04 ounce
9 weeks 0.90 inch 0.07 ounce
10 weeks 1.22 inch 0.14 ounce
11 weeks 1.61 inch 0.25 ounce
12 weeks 2.13 inches 0.49 ounce
13 weeks 2.91 inches 0.81 ounce
14 weeks 3.42 inches 1.52 ounce
15 weeks 3.98 inches 2.47 ounces
16 weeks 4.57 inches 3.53 ounces
17 weeks 5.12 inches 4.94 ounces
18 weeks 5.59 inches 6.70 ounces
19 weeks 6.02 inches 8.47 ounces
20 weeks 6.46 inches 10.58 ounces
21 weeks 10.51 inches 12.70 ounces
22 weeks 10.94 inches 15.17 ounces
23 weeks 11.38 inches 1.10 pound
24 weeks 11.81 inches 1.32 pound
25 weeks 13.62 inches 1.46 pound
26 weeks 14.02 inches 1.68 pound
27 weeks 14.41 inches 1.93 pound
28 weeks 14.80 inches 2.22 pounds
29 weeks 15.2 inches 2.54 pounds
30 weeks 15.71 inches 2.91 pounds
31 weeks 16.18 inches 3.31 pounds
32 weeks 16.69 inches 3.75 pounds
33 weeks 17.20 inches 4.23 pounds
34 weeks 17.72 inches 4.73 pounds
35 weeks 18.19 inches 5.25 pounds
36 weeks 18.66 inches 5.78 pounds
37 weeks 19.13 inches 6.30 pounds
38 weeks 19.61 inches 6.80 pounds
39 weeks 19.96 inches 7.25 pounds
40 weeks 20.16 inches 7.63 pounds
41 weeks 20.35 inches 7.93 pounds
42 weeks 20.28 inches 8.12 pounds
43 weeks 20.20 inches 8.19 pounds

At 35 weeks the average baby weighs 5.25 pounds. What is Mongo currently clocking in at you ask? 7 lbs and 3 ounces! Almost 2 extra pounds! HOLY CRAP! So either my due date is off, which is always possible or….GIANT BABY AHOY!

Now it is up to my doctor as to which direction I go. I doubt I will be going all the way to September 11th now because the baby is expected to gain 0.5 to 1 pound a week from here on out. You do the math…that would be over 10 pounds! No thanks! My lady parts don’t want to suffer through that. (I apologize to any reader who may be offended by the mentioning of my lady parts but it is my blog.)

Ryan can be home the night of September 3rd and will fly back September 7th so we are still hoping to induce that weekend. But now, instead of inducing early, we may be praying that the baby doesn’t come before then. AHHHH! Peanut is giving me heartburn and now, anxiety!

Also I would like to thank those of you who were able to attend my baby shower. It was a lot of fun and I got lots of cute things for Peanut. And a special thanks to Linda for the presents for the baby shower and from Las Vegas! I am sorry that you couldn’t be there but I know, in spirit, you always are. J

That is going to sum it up for now. I will update all of you as I get more info on the expected date of delivery. Much love from Ryan, Rachel, AND MONGO!

I bet she'll taste great with some A-1 steak sauce!

I love my dog. Now please go back and re-read that last sentence one more time. Do you understand? Okay good. BECAUSE I AM GOING TO BARBEQUE HER!

For example, I was watching a show last night on A&E about people who O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder) and there was this woman who obsesses over dogs being tortured and killed. Well they took this woman to a local pound and America got to watch her have an emotional melt down over all the fuzzy faces in cages. I am the kind of woman who cries at the IAMS dog food commercial so being pregnant and seeing this, I started to weep and proceeded to hug my dog until she couldn’t take it anymore due to lack of oxygen. Do you really understand how much I love my dog? I hope so…because taking away all her squeaky toys and leaving her with nothing to play with really going to breaks my heart.

Every morning my dog and I have a routine. I get up, shower, go downstairs, put her on her leash, let her out my front door so she can “relieve herself” on my lawn, go inside, feed her, feed myself, go back upstairs, and get ready for work. This pattern was interrupted when Sera came to town. She wanted to walk Freya across the road every morning and let her use the bathroom on the big lawn. I agreed because it was Sera and it wasn’t a big deal. But 2 weeks of walking across the road to let Freya urinate on the large patch of grass spoiled my dog. And now that Sera has gone, Freya can’t get back into our normal routine.

I let her out the front door and she just sits there…staring at me. It has become a battle of wills which I lose because I don’t want to bring her back in and have her pee on my floor. I have ended up caving in and walking her across the road to let her go to the bathroom. But not today! I wasn’t going to let that happen today. Nope, this morning she was going to pee in my front lawn no matter what.

So after my shower I go to get dressed and realized all my clothes are downstairs on the dryer. But that is okay because I am not walking outside today. My dog is going to pee on my lawn and I was only going to have to stand at my front door. So I wrapped a towel around me, threw my robe over that for a little extra modesty, and headed down stairs.

I got to my front door and clipped on Freya’s leash and let her out. Sure enough, she sat on the front step and waited. But I wasn’t going to give in. I closed my screen door and attached her leash handle to the knob so she couldn’t get away. She was going to sit out there and do her business. So I walked into my kitchen and got her breakfast ready. I peeked at the front door and could tell she was still sitting there so I went on my way. I got myself a bowl of cereal and some juice and headed to the table. …that’s when I heard it.

SCREECH…SCRAPE…CLUNK…

I whip around to see Freya’s leash handle lying on the floor. I run to the front door and look out my screen. She is across the road peeing on the lawn. Her leash is older and it broke months ago so Ryan tied a big knot in it to hold it together. Apparently this did not go unnoticed by my dog. And from the looks of it, she chewed the knot lose and ran free across the road.

Now I panic. My dog is a runner and if she gets lose, she takes off. So without thinking I dart out the front door after her. She sees me coming and knows she is in trouble. So mid-pee she starts running. I catch up to her only to get dog pee on my foot. Gross! I grab the little bit of leash still attached to her collar and began to drag her back to my front door when I feel something…slipping.

Then it hits me, I am still in my bathrobe with a towel wrapped around me. And that slipping, well that’s the towel. So now I am hunched over hanging onto my dog with one hand and trying to keep my robe closed tight with my other and trying not to let me towel fall completely off. I get back across the road and to my front door, but right as I am about to enter, the towel slips to the ground.

I shove my dog inside and try to close the screen door but it’s still open a crack. I bend down to pick up my towel while checking to see if any of my neighbors are dying from laughter in their front room windows, when through the crack in the door my dog licks my face. I glare at her and she cocks her head to one side and wags her tail as if to say, “I win. Let’s play again.” Tomorrow we will play by her rules.

Top Ten Annoying Work Things

Allow me to depart from my usual topic of blogging, pregnancy, to discuss another important aspect of me life-my job. I work for a brilliant doctor who was kind enough to give me my start in medicine. I love what I do and where I work. I am a receptionist most days but also do some work for the clinic as a certified nursing assistant. (CNA)

My job is very fulfilling and makes me feel like I am making some small difference in this world. I enjoy medicine and all the good that I can see it do for people. And I love the people I work with-they are friends along with co-workers.

My job has brought me insight into a whole new dimension of people however. And so now, without any further gilding of the lily, I give you my:

Top Ten Things That Drive Me Crazy about Working at a Doctor’s Office


1. Patient’s who assume I am a medical genius: Allow me to explain…please, I beg of you, DO NOT assume that the person answering the phone at your doctor’s office is a doctor. I understand you want to know what to do about your rectal bleeding, BUT I AM NOT THE ONE TO ASK! So don’t get upset when I stop you halfway through your explanation of your anal warts to tell you that I’ll transfer you to a nurse that can help you.

2. Doctor’s Office Does NOT = Babysitter: If you are a parent and cannot find a sitter for your kids, please don’t ask me to watch them while you have your rectal exam. I realize that you don’t want to emotionally scar your kids by allowing them to see a man inserting his finger in your rear, but perhaps you should have thought of that BEFORE YOU BROUGHT THEM TO YOUR PROCTOLOGIST APPOINTMENT!

3. Getting Mad About Your Lack of Pain Meds: Again I am going to remind you that I am not the person who denied you your refill of Lortab. I don’t know why it isn’t being refilled but please, don’t yell at me like I just kicked your puppy and then ran it over repeatedly with my car. Yelling at me won’t help…I promise.

4. Complaining About Magazine Choices: I know you want the latest issue of “Fish & Game Magazine” ready for you when you arrive, but that isn’t going to happen. Sit down, read “Better Homes & Gardens” and be happy about it or I’ll replace all the magazines with college level physics books…WITH NO PICTURES!

5. Talking On Your Cell Phone In the Waiting Room: Most people who come to a doctor’s office are sick and would like a little peace and quite. So when you are practically screaming your conversation because the person on the other end of the call can’t hear you, it’s REALLY annoying. No one wants to hear what you did last night, or where you are going after your appointment, or about the cute thing your kid did this morning. Take it outside or turn it off!

6. Complaining That There Are Sick People In the Waiting Room: Really? Sick people? AT THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE?!?! The nerve…Come on folks. I know you don’t want to have to sit next to someone who likes like they might barf, but where would suggest they sit to wait for their turn? In the parking lot? Or maybe in the janitorial closet? Give me a break! Complaining won’t get you back any faster, but it might help the sick guy out.

7. No Spanish Por Favor: It is not my obligation to learn Spanish. Period. The End. If you need medical care and you cannot communicate in English, please find an office that speaks Spanish or bring someone with you who can translate. Being upset with the office staff because we can’t understand you won’t help you feel better.

8. Patients Who Argue with the Doctor: If you go to see the doctor, don’t argue with his diagnosis or treatment plan. We assume you are here because you can’t fix yourself. If you had all the answers, you probably wouldn’t have been here in the first place.

9. Screaming Kids in the Waiting Room: I know kids get rowdy and hyper. But if that is the case, take them out in the hall. Our benches are not here to act as playground equipment. And if they are bored and screaming, maybe you should have brought something for them to do, rather than yell at them for being loud and rambunctious.

10. Patients Who Get Mad at Me When They Miss Their Appointment: Last time I checked you are a 40-year-old adult and should be responsible for yourself. If you missed your appointment, IT’S YOUR FAULT! As an office, we TRY to give reminder calls as a courtesy. But you are old enough to keep track of your own schedule. If your car needs a tune up do you wait for the mechanic to call and remind you? NO!!! So be a grown-up, I know for many people it’s hard, and write your damn appointments down!


This list is only a short list of annoying things from my job. And if you ever do this, I might smack you (And then kick your puppy and run it over repeatedly with my car!) And besides, do you really want the people who schedule your appointments being pissed off at you? (I’m sorry Mr. Smith but we can’t get you in to get your hemorrhoids looked at for another 6 weeks. We are just too busy.) Let this be your warning!

Endings

I wish endings were easier. And I know the saying “With every end comes a new beginning” but it doesn’t feel that way. Even when the ending isn’t mine, I still feel for the parties involved-especially when one of those parties is a very beloved and cherished member of my family. And none of the pain or confusion that she is going through is her fault. It may seem like I am in denial when I say that it isn’t her fault but trust me, it isn’t.

And this person remains so strong. She just keeps trying to push forward even though she doesn’t understand the situation. She puts on her brave face and just keeps on loving even though she doesn’t understand why things fall apart. She was talking to me the other day and questioned why God would lead people to believe one thing, if it turns out that the exact opposite is what ends up happening. And it hurt me so deeply that these words would come out of her mouth. I don’t want her to end up questioning God because of a bad situation…not now and not ever.

So how do I make this easier for her? The situation doesn’t involve me beyond seeing her have to go through it. I can’t repair whatever damage has been done to cause this painful ending. But how can I really help? I advise her to just pray for happiness. Pray that everyone involved comes out of this with some sort of peace and contentment. I continue to remind her that I love her and that I am always here if she needs someone to talk to. And I tell her that God works in mysterious ways and sometimes, things are only meant to be for a short period of time and then we are destined to take a different path. I guess, in a way, I echo the saying that even I don’t understand: “With every end, comes a new beginning.”

I keep her and the other parties involved in my prayers. All I want is for this special member of my family to find peace and to not end up feeling ill-will to God because she doesn’t understand why something like this would happen. And I pray for the other people involved that they try to continue to do what to best for them and find the happiness that they need, however they need to.

I know this is all so vague and it is meant to be. I don’t want any feelings to get hurt or for people to get angry. I just wanted to vent a little about what is going on. It helps me sort my own thoughts out so that I can continue to try and be supportive. And please don’t worry about anything. Mostly this blog is to help me get some of my feelings and worries off my chest so that I can continue to be as good of a support to my loved one as possible.

Much love to you all and thanks for letting me vent.

Sera Is Back...and so is her boyfriend

It is that wonderful time of year again when Sera comes home. Now that she is living in Arizona I don't get to spend much time with her. It sucks but that's life. Normally when Ryan is here, she gets to spend the entire summer with us. But since Ryan is in Mississippi she is only here for just a couple weeks. She got into town Saturday afternoon. Sunday was our lazy day where we kind of hung around the house and played. And today we went to Hogle Zoo...for four hours...and it was hot...and I am 32 weeks pregnant.

Even though I was getting tired towards the end, it was still fun. Sera and I saw all the animals and even got to watch a show where she got to pet some of the animals at the end. She also rode the carousel (twice) and the train once. It was a busy day!

While we were waiting for the animal show to start, Sera decided to put on a show of her own. It was pretty awesome so I am deciding to share it with our family and friends!

We had so much fun and I look forward to spending all the time I can with her. She is a delight to be with and I love her with all my heart. Enjoy the video and much love to you all!