Please take this Top 10 with a grain of salt or perhaps a shot of whiskey. I have not had any coffee today so I am "in a mood."
Top 10 Things that Are Bugging Me Right Now
1. The snacks in my drawers. Right now, I really wish I had more food than a bag of Cheddar Cheese Rice Cakes. What the hell was I thinking? Why didn’t I buy something that would actually satisfy a craving? Oh but Rachel, they have 0 grams of Trans Fat and 13 grams of Whole Grains. You know what? All 13 of those whole grains can kiss my butt-I want a damn Snickers bar!
2. The pedometer on my side that reminds me of how much I hate walking.
3. The people walking across the street to go get coffee. You suck-unless you bring me an iced vanilla latte and then, you are AWESOME!
4. The fact that people assume I am in charge of a function simply because I made the sign-up sheet for it. No, it just means I know how to use clipart better than the person who really is in charge.
5. This itchy patch of dry skin on the side of my nose.
6. The fact that I am being so whiney. I hate it when I annoy myself.
7. The envelopes I have been helping to address. People, listen up. I love you and how crafty you can be. The cute handmade invites to things are fabulous! However, if you would like me to help address things in the future, make your invites with a normal size envelope. My handwriting blows and to try and make it tiny enough to fit on your cutesy envelopes…not happening. On second thought, the next time, I am buying sticker labels.
8. People who think I am a grump because I don’t love planning/attending wedding showers, baby showers, blah, blah, blah. I hate the little games you play and all the garbage. I am not saying that I don’t love you and that I am against your special event. But don’t expect me to get so excited over playing a game where you unscramble the names of household items or go all sappy over tiny little nut cups with pink and blue mints. Just let me show up, give you my gift, and smile and be grateful I am not drunk.
9. Thunder and lightening storms that keeps you up when you are trying to sleep.
10. Sisters that will not have a baby because your child needs a cousin. Who cares if you and your husband are career-minded and responsible? Get busy and give my son a playmate already!
More Gabe to come soon! Much love to you all!
Showing posts with label top ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top ten. Show all posts
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
Top 10 Things I Have Recently Discovered
Here is my newest Top 10. These are things that I have recently learned or discovered about myself. I am sure many of you will see where I am coming from. Enjoy!
1. Whatever comes after the DVD I am going to boycott. Who is with me? I am not restarting my collection.
2. My child blows on his ice cream is cool it off-I don’t have the heart to correct him which proves that I really am a good mom.
3. How many times can I apply sunscreen before someone stops me and tells me I am obsessed?
4. It is easier for “You” to put on a jacket to warm up than it is for me too turn off the air conditioner and remain cool. Unless you want to see me naked, better start bringing a sweater with you!
5. I must have a cutoff time for coffee consumption.
6. There are 2 moments that I dread: The first is the moment when I am arguing with Ryan and realize that I am wrong and the second is the moment is when I realize I have leaned too far back in my chair.
7. I have put certain phone numbers in my phone before so that I can be sure I don’t pick up when you call. Question is, are you one of those people?
8. Why is it that it is when you think you can finally trust your child not to do something, they do it? I am obvisouly too trusting.
9. I hate it when people assume that I am a bitch because I like to be loud and sarcastic…wait…Nevermind. I get it now.
10. Have you ever walked out of a public bathroom smelling your hands because you like the scent of the soap and had someone stare at you? I have and let me tell you how awkward it was trying to explain that one. “No no! This isn’t what it looks like. I really did wash my hands! I just like the smell of the soap. Smells like Fruit Loops.” They never believe you and will never again ask to borrow your pen. I need to work on my timing.
P.S. More Gabe to come soon. Much love to you all!
1. Whatever comes after the DVD I am going to boycott. Who is with me? I am not restarting my collection.
2. My child blows on his ice cream is cool it off-I don’t have the heart to correct him which proves that I really am a good mom.
3. How many times can I apply sunscreen before someone stops me and tells me I am obsessed?
4. It is easier for “You” to put on a jacket to warm up than it is for me too turn off the air conditioner and remain cool. Unless you want to see me naked, better start bringing a sweater with you!
5. I must have a cutoff time for coffee consumption.
6. There are 2 moments that I dread: The first is the moment when I am arguing with Ryan and realize that I am wrong and the second is the moment is when I realize I have leaned too far back in my chair.
7. I have put certain phone numbers in my phone before so that I can be sure I don’t pick up when you call. Question is, are you one of those people?
8. Why is it that it is when you think you can finally trust your child not to do something, they do it? I am obvisouly too trusting.
9. I hate it when people assume that I am a bitch because I like to be loud and sarcastic…wait…Nevermind. I get it now.
10. Have you ever walked out of a public bathroom smelling your hands because you like the scent of the soap and had someone stare at you? I have and let me tell you how awkward it was trying to explain that one. “No no! This isn’t what it looks like. I really did wash my hands! I just like the smell of the soap. Smells like Fruit Loops.” They never believe you and will never again ask to borrow your pen. I need to work on my timing.
P.S. More Gabe to come soon. Much love to you all!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Top Ten Again! (& Gabe Too)
Time for my favorite segment where I get to complain about things! YAY! That’s right my 10 (Hells yes double digits!) followers, I am talking about a new Top 10! And if you would like to pretend, each one of you can claim one of these Top 10 Items as your own. Sort of like I am dedicating them to you but I won’t…because I am lazy.
Top 10 Things I HATE About Living in MY Townhome Community
1. The Drive-In Swap Meet: I do not want to hear about all the bargains you can find at a swap meet. (Ryan I am talking to you here!) Mostly it is full of old N64 games, knock-off purses, and bongs…I mean, decorative vases. And as much as I love myself a nice decorative vase, I don’t love the line of cars the swap meet draws EVERY EFFING SUNDAY! Sunday is my time to drive to the store because I forgot bacon the night before, not to wait for you as you wait in line to go buy yourself a crappy pair of sunglasses.
2. The Garbage Can Situation: First off, let me start by saying I am glad we have a pickup and not some random dumpster somewhere on the property. However, when the 2 cans we drag out in front of our unit get blown over, sending our garbage along with the lid to our can rolling down the road, I don’t love it so much. And if by some miracle the cans don’t get knocked over, the garbage man usually tosses the lid back on my lawn finding the small patch of mud near the wall or random pile of dog poop left there by the yellow lab that roams around. Thanks for that Garbage Man! Also, the people on our street that drag there cans to the grass across from our driveway and leave them there for 2 days-I’m going to paint curse words on the cans next time as a friendly reminder to pick up your crap!
3. Dog Poop: Speaking of crap, the people who let their yellow lab crap on my lawn or the community grass. I pick up after my dog. My neighbors pick up after their dogs. Why are you special? Your dog leaves GIANT poops and I don’t want my kid landing in them. Clean it up before I make you wear it.
4. My Neighbors Kids on the Stairs: We share a wall with a family that has 2 young boys. And those boys must have freakishly strong legs because them noise they make tramping up and down those stairs sounds like a pack of wild buffalo. I am going to talk to them about “Indoor Feet” and how if they don’t stop, they will be hobbled.
5. The Guy Who Creeps Me Out: Jason, I am talking about you here! Just kidding. But seriously, there is a guy who whenever I go outside either downstairs or on my deck, he is peeping out his window or peeking over the fence on his deck. For example, we were out grilling on Saturday and Ryan can hear something over on the guy’s deck. The fences we have on the deck are pretty tall, maybe 7 feet so Ryan stands up on a chair and sees the guy looking over his fence at us. I KNOW RYAN WAS BEING CREEPY TOO! Please don’t point that out because I already know, but it freaked him out when Creepy Guy was already standing there looking at him.
6. The Stairs: Our townhomes have 3 levels so there are 2 big sets of stairs and then a little set of baby stairs. Yes I have fallen down them because I am not very graceful but that is not why. It is because when I have too many shots with my friends, those things are impossible to climb! I usually have to lie in the hallway on the second floor until the world stops spinning before I can keep going.
7. That Red Car Across the Street: My carport is being torn up because they are going to re-pour my driveway. No problem except there is a red car that has not moved in a year taking up one of the only extra spots we have. And if you think I am joking about it being there for a year I’m not!
8. 2:00 AM Fire Trucks: Our complex is across the street from a fire department and I am grateful because I know someday Ryan is going to blow up something. But when there is a fire or accident at 2:00 AM on a weeknight, it is not so fun. They try to be as quiet as possible and wait to turn on the sirens until they are down the street but it still wakes me up.
9. The Fact That My Mailbox Is At the Other End of the Complex: Need I say more?
10. Location! Location! Location!: I don’t mind that I technically live in west Valley. It really doesn’t bother me and I feel safe in my little complex. (Minus the Creepy Guy) But it bothers me when people hear where I live and assume that I must be A) Getting Shot At Constantly or B) Have Seen or Been Involved in Some Sort of Criminal Activity. It’s West Valley People! Time to wake up and smell the urban development.
All this being said, I do love where I live because I am close to the freeway, I don’t have to do yard work, and I have the world’s best neighbors, so it isn’t that bad. Much love to you all!
P.S. And once again, for those of you who only check this blog to see my cute boy, I present you with this. Gabe drank that entire cup of lemonade by himself! He is getting so big.
Top 10 Things I HATE About Living in MY Townhome Community
1. The Drive-In Swap Meet: I do not want to hear about all the bargains you can find at a swap meet. (Ryan I am talking to you here!) Mostly it is full of old N64 games, knock-off purses, and bongs…I mean, decorative vases. And as much as I love myself a nice decorative vase, I don’t love the line of cars the swap meet draws EVERY EFFING SUNDAY! Sunday is my time to drive to the store because I forgot bacon the night before, not to wait for you as you wait in line to go buy yourself a crappy pair of sunglasses.
2. The Garbage Can Situation: First off, let me start by saying I am glad we have a pickup and not some random dumpster somewhere on the property. However, when the 2 cans we drag out in front of our unit get blown over, sending our garbage along with the lid to our can rolling down the road, I don’t love it so much. And if by some miracle the cans don’t get knocked over, the garbage man usually tosses the lid back on my lawn finding the small patch of mud near the wall or random pile of dog poop left there by the yellow lab that roams around. Thanks for that Garbage Man! Also, the people on our street that drag there cans to the grass across from our driveway and leave them there for 2 days-I’m going to paint curse words on the cans next time as a friendly reminder to pick up your crap!
3. Dog Poop: Speaking of crap, the people who let their yellow lab crap on my lawn or the community grass. I pick up after my dog. My neighbors pick up after their dogs. Why are you special? Your dog leaves GIANT poops and I don’t want my kid landing in them. Clean it up before I make you wear it.
4. My Neighbors Kids on the Stairs: We share a wall with a family that has 2 young boys. And those boys must have freakishly strong legs because them noise they make tramping up and down those stairs sounds like a pack of wild buffalo. I am going to talk to them about “Indoor Feet” and how if they don’t stop, they will be hobbled.
5. The Guy Who Creeps Me Out: Jason, I am talking about you here! Just kidding. But seriously, there is a guy who whenever I go outside either downstairs or on my deck, he is peeping out his window or peeking over the fence on his deck. For example, we were out grilling on Saturday and Ryan can hear something over on the guy’s deck. The fences we have on the deck are pretty tall, maybe 7 feet so Ryan stands up on a chair and sees the guy looking over his fence at us. I KNOW RYAN WAS BEING CREEPY TOO! Please don’t point that out because I already know, but it freaked him out when Creepy Guy was already standing there looking at him.
6. The Stairs: Our townhomes have 3 levels so there are 2 big sets of stairs and then a little set of baby stairs. Yes I have fallen down them because I am not very graceful but that is not why. It is because when I have too many shots with my friends, those things are impossible to climb! I usually have to lie in the hallway on the second floor until the world stops spinning before I can keep going.
7. That Red Car Across the Street: My carport is being torn up because they are going to re-pour my driveway. No problem except there is a red car that has not moved in a year taking up one of the only extra spots we have. And if you think I am joking about it being there for a year I’m not!
8. 2:00 AM Fire Trucks: Our complex is across the street from a fire department and I am grateful because I know someday Ryan is going to blow up something. But when there is a fire or accident at 2:00 AM on a weeknight, it is not so fun. They try to be as quiet as possible and wait to turn on the sirens until they are down the street but it still wakes me up.
9. The Fact That My Mailbox Is At the Other End of the Complex: Need I say more?
10. Location! Location! Location!: I don’t mind that I technically live in west Valley. It really doesn’t bother me and I feel safe in my little complex. (Minus the Creepy Guy) But it bothers me when people hear where I live and assume that I must be A) Getting Shot At Constantly or B) Have Seen or Been Involved in Some Sort of Criminal Activity. It’s West Valley People! Time to wake up and smell the urban development.
All this being said, I do love where I live because I am close to the freeway, I don’t have to do yard work, and I have the world’s best neighbors, so it isn’t that bad. Much love to you all!
P.S. And once again, for those of you who only check this blog to see my cute boy, I present you with this. Gabe drank that entire cup of lemonade by himself! He is getting so big.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Pet Peeves
We all have those little “pet peeves” that eat at us. Annoying habits of others that make us want to lash out in acts of violence? No? Not you? I am the only one who wants to resort to punching? Well fine! Go ahead and be the Dalai Lama. I am going to do what I do best and tell those of you who read this what my top ten biggest pet peeves are. And if you are doing these things, don’t do them around me. (I just warned you about the violence didn’t I?)
Rachel’s Top Ten Pet Peeves
01. People Who Ask Obvious Questions: Questions, for example, like “Do you just love your baby all the time?” Let me think…no. I don’t. In fact, I was wondering if you might take him off my hands seeing as you are obviously a GENIUS! Exactly how shallow is your gene pool for you to ask me such a stupid question? Of course I love him. Now please, go get some condoms so that you will NEVER reproduce.
02. People Who Blow Theirs Noses in Restaurants: The last thing I want to hear while I am trying to enjoy my Egg Drop Soup is you expelling boogers from your nose. I know we all get a little stuffy from time to time, but if you have to BLOW your nose, excuse yourself to the bathroom.
03. Wearing Dog Collars For Jewelry: They are made for dogs for hells sake! And it seems that over the past month, I have been seeing kids doing this A LOT! In fact, here is an example for you to feast upon. Do you realize what this says about you? No one thinks you are cool and edgy. It just makes us want to smack you with a rolled up newspaper and rub your noses in your own poop.
04. People Who Steal Your Parking Spot: Do you really want to do that? I mean, think about this. You steal MY parking spot that I was obviously waiting for and then leave your car to go into a store…unmanned. It gives me a perfect opportunity to spit on your windshield. Maybe you should find somewhere else to park huh?
05. Brown Bananas at the Grocery Store: It can’t be that hard to find some nice fresh bananas can it? Maybe even a little green? So why in the hell does it seem that the Smith’s by my house only has brown ones. Damn you Smith’s produce.
06. Eavesdroppers: Sometimes we all hear other people conversations. Hell, sometimes we do it on purpose. But it is a whole other thing to then jump into that conversation with your two cents. Like when you are standing in line somewhere discussing a recent movie with your friend and some whack-a-doo in front of you turns around and tells you how horrible that movie really is. Thanks for that Mr. Creepy Man…good thing I wasn’t discussing something more personal huh? Now SHUT UP!
07. The Garbage Truck That Comes To My House: This has only becoming a recent pet peeve of mine. First off, the thing sounds like it is housing a bunch of epileptic drummers and might at any moments fall to pieces or blow up. It is so loud! And then the guys who dump the trash cans just toss them anywhere they please once they are done. Like tossing the lid of my garbge can into the ONE PILE of dog poop that I missed picking up. A whole patch of grass and you toss my lid into that poo pile. Thanks for that extra special gift.
08. Ryan, When He Won’t Smash a Spider: This may not seem like much to you, but when you have a spider crawling around that might eat your face, and your husband is taking his time on smashing it, come talk to me. It could get away in the time he is dinking around. And then it will know that I wanted it dead. And it will go and get all its creepy little spider friends and they will all come into my house and have babies and then I DIE! Dramatic? I think not.
09. Pushy Sales People: No I don’t want to rent another movie at half price or order something for desert or sign-up for your credit card to get a 20% discount. Just leave me alone and give me my effing receipt. Thank you.
10. “Neighbor’s" Annoying Chihuahua & Pug: I don’t normally have issues with dogs that bark a little. I mean, dogs will be dogs. But this guy, who normally isn’t a real friendly guy anyway, lets his dogs out into his patio area and they bark and bark and bark. And they’ve got those little yappy tiny barks. It makes me want to throw things at them like water balloons or tomatoes or car batteries.
Now naturally there are many more things that annoy me because that is just the way it is. So don’t criticize my list or you might end up on the next one. Love to you all!
Rachel’s Top Ten Pet Peeves
01. People Who Ask Obvious Questions: Questions, for example, like “Do you just love your baby all the time?” Let me think…no. I don’t. In fact, I was wondering if you might take him off my hands seeing as you are obviously a GENIUS! Exactly how shallow is your gene pool for you to ask me such a stupid question? Of course I love him. Now please, go get some condoms so that you will NEVER reproduce.
02. People Who Blow Theirs Noses in Restaurants: The last thing I want to hear while I am trying to enjoy my Egg Drop Soup is you expelling boogers from your nose. I know we all get a little stuffy from time to time, but if you have to BLOW your nose, excuse yourself to the bathroom.
03. Wearing Dog Collars For Jewelry: They are made for dogs for hells sake! And it seems that over the past month, I have been seeing kids doing this A LOT! In fact, here is an example for you to feast upon. Do you realize what this says about you? No one thinks you are cool and edgy. It just makes us want to smack you with a rolled up newspaper and rub your noses in your own poop.
04. People Who Steal Your Parking Spot: Do you really want to do that? I mean, think about this. You steal MY parking spot that I was obviously waiting for and then leave your car to go into a store…unmanned. It gives me a perfect opportunity to spit on your windshield. Maybe you should find somewhere else to park huh?
05. Brown Bananas at the Grocery Store: It can’t be that hard to find some nice fresh bananas can it? Maybe even a little green? So why in the hell does it seem that the Smith’s by my house only has brown ones. Damn you Smith’s produce.
06. Eavesdroppers: Sometimes we all hear other people conversations. Hell, sometimes we do it on purpose. But it is a whole other thing to then jump into that conversation with your two cents. Like when you are standing in line somewhere discussing a recent movie with your friend and some whack-a-doo in front of you turns around and tells you how horrible that movie really is. Thanks for that Mr. Creepy Man…good thing I wasn’t discussing something more personal huh? Now SHUT UP!
07. The Garbage Truck That Comes To My House: This has only becoming a recent pet peeve of mine. First off, the thing sounds like it is housing a bunch of epileptic drummers and might at any moments fall to pieces or blow up. It is so loud! And then the guys who dump the trash cans just toss them anywhere they please once they are done. Like tossing the lid of my garbge can into the ONE PILE of dog poop that I missed picking up. A whole patch of grass and you toss my lid into that poo pile. Thanks for that extra special gift.
08. Ryan, When He Won’t Smash a Spider: This may not seem like much to you, but when you have a spider crawling around that might eat your face, and your husband is taking his time on smashing it, come talk to me. It could get away in the time he is dinking around. And then it will know that I wanted it dead. And it will go and get all its creepy little spider friends and they will all come into my house and have babies and then I DIE! Dramatic? I think not.
09. Pushy Sales People: No I don’t want to rent another movie at half price or order something for desert or sign-up for your credit card to get a 20% discount. Just leave me alone and give me my effing receipt. Thank you.
10. “Neighbor’s" Annoying Chihuahua & Pug: I don’t normally have issues with dogs that bark a little. I mean, dogs will be dogs. But this guy, who normally isn’t a real friendly guy anyway, lets his dogs out into his patio area and they bark and bark and bark. And they’ve got those little yappy tiny barks. It makes me want to throw things at them like water balloons or tomatoes or car batteries.
Now naturally there are many more things that annoy me because that is just the way it is. So don’t criticize my list or you might end up on the next one. Love to you all!
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